A Letter To Our Election Commissioner

http://www.beingcynical.com/2012/01/letter-to-our-election-commissioner.html
A Letter To Our Election Commissioner
Posted by Cynical in Sunday, January 8, 2012
Dear Mr. S.Y. Quraishi & Team,
Let me first thank you for providing the much needed fun quotient on a dull
weekend like yesterday. When everything seems going bad for us as a nation,
which also includes us getting badly thrashed in Australia, your jumbo shocker
for Mayawati bridged the missing humor for sure. I can't just explain you guys
how badly I wished, I could have seen the face of that lady when she heard the
news for the first time.
At the outset a pat on the back - You guys have travelled a long distance, let
me assure you that. Without a certain T.N.Sessan, no one knew if such an
institution was ever existing, which literally have powers to strip search the
politicians in the middle of the chilly January Delhi night. That was the
scenario a couple of decades back, while today everyone knows the in-and-out of
the CEC office and most important, its power. From that `Main Politicians Ko
Kachha Chabata Hun' Safal advertisement of Sessan to the frequent loo visits of
Navin Chawala during important election preparatory meets to update his bosses
in 10 Janpath, 7 Racecourse or somewhere in Italy or wherever; the long journey
you guys have made is commendable. Remember how politicians used to wet their
Dhotis when Sessan was at the helm as the Numero-uno? Sessan was so frightening
for many that, to curb his powers our political class installed three EC instead
of one. With obstacles that an average honest bureaucrat has to pass through in
India you guys have done a brilliant job till now. Barring few hiccups
here-and-there, you guys pretty much have done everything right most of the
time. That is fine. Even porn movies show girls fully covered sometime.
That said, I have some concerns regarding your latest out of the world decision
regarding UP and it's upcoming election and hence thought of clearing the
unwanted air of confusion that surrounds me.
You know what Mr. Quraishi? After yesterday my perception towards your office
has changed a little. Now I wonder if we really require an election commissioner
in our country. If at all yes, then is it mandated by our constitution that
schoolboys should run this institution. The ghastly part of the drama yesterday
was the spokesperson of CEC office defending the decision taken to cover all
elephants and Mayawati statues till the elections are over. Really? It is
something similar like Tatas coming up with a shit called Nano and then
defending it as world-class in its segment.
Cover all statues of elephants and Mayawati? Heavens why? Even though I wish the
statues of Mayawati to be bulldozed and erased to ruins in a manner that would
give complex to the Neanderthal Talibanis for erasing Gautama Buddha's statue in
a little pious way; Elephants? Why cover elephants? Elephants don't wear
clothes? Do they? Just because elephants are the poll symbols for BSP, you can't
order them to be covered. Then why spare others? Let's order to cover all the
lotuses (if they are that rampantly available), ask people to lock their cycles
in their garage and order people to wear gloves as we can't chop them off as
they ultimately would need their fingers to cast the vote. Does this proposition
sound logical Mr. Quraishi? If not then I beg for some answer from you for
having this selective amnesia for Mayawati and BSP.
Though I am a great hater of Mayawati and her/his (as the looks doesn't confirm
either way) cronies, the decision of yours to give the Luckhnow residents a much
needed relief from the sight polluting purse carrying statues, looks a little
political. Even though your job involves and revolves around politics and
politicians, you guys are expected to remain as apolitical as Sarad Pawar
(anyway, he was never related to anything except loot money) to cricket, still
being the head of ICC. But No; as it seems Navin Chawala has left a strong
legacy of his political bootlicking qualities and there are jokers in CEC office
who still take dictations from bosses in power during their once in every ten
minutes loo break.
I know Mr. Quraishi, your deliberations. I know how this election is important
to one Yuvraj of a party to showcase that he can achieve something after camping
in that state for last one year; sleeping in the mosquito infected Dalit huts as
part of his regular gimmickry and pillion riding a bike multiple times to throw
tantrums like mass rape and mass grave in Bhatta-Parsaul. I know how a good
performance (more than what the Sydney test was for Virat Kohli) in this
election is important for the political career of that gentleman. I know there
is a motor mouth who wants to save his own ass and that can only be possible by
an improved performance in UP elections for Congress. But it doesn't anyway mean
you start chopping the ethics and values of your institution from the middle as
if you were the chief of the vasectomy team of Sanjay Gandhi. If at all
anything, the funny decision of yours showed that the CEC doesn't remain that
sacrosanct as we believed it to be and you guys washed of your hands on the hard
earned reputation quicker than Sanjeev Nanda washed his BMW.
Hope this is one of the odd decisions taken in haste to please few, which would
duly be rectified in the course of time and we won't be surprised by some joke
crackers in CEC ever. If our parliament and our democracy are the pillars of our
nation, you guys are the caretaker of it. Hope you value the importance of a
gardener for the garden as he certainly doesn't cover the roses with polythene
sheets for fear of stealing and destroys the beauty of the garden just because
it is Valentine's Day. Hope we have still got mature heads to run the engine
room of the world's largest democracy.
On a lighter note – Pray Sarha Palin doesn't get the news of your decision or
else Americans would have an embarrassing situation if she comes up with a
demand to cover all donkeys during next American elections. By the way, what the
hell is wrong with your official website http://www.eci.nic.in ? It is even
slower than the fastest delivery of Venkatesh Prasad. That is just not done, as
we want our CEC office to be fast, furious, ferocious and crisp in every sphere,
which also includes a faster download of their shit on the cyber space. Don't
we?
Warm Regards
- Someone who hasn't ever missed casting his vote